Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
