Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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