New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
