I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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