Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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