I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
