I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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