I swear god or herbie drove my car home
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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