I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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