At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize