Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
