I need help removing her.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Randomize
