i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
