there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
