I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
