I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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