Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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