She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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