try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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