So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
