Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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