Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
