so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
