i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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