we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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