dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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