This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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