What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize