Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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