Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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