I think I died a long time ago.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
you didnt know i had herpes?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Just invented taco cereal.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I will be naked everywhere
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize