when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
