Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
organizing the empties. That sober.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
