But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
