Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
