woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He told me they were just razor bumps!
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Randomize
