covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
