worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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