after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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