fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
