Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
