Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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