His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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