Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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