She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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