I can't watch pbs sober anymore
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Randomize
