Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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