this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
