Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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