The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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