its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
