what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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