We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
