In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
