At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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