meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
