his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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