Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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