Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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