i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
