Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Randomize
