and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
