I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
