i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
