omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
